Thursday

and by the way

this bah-log has been inactive for a good 4 years. I'm just catching up, but feel free to read some of the older posts. They're not that bad. I have been out of the desert for too long. some people go wandering in the desert for 40 days or years or whatever, then "return" and begin their lives again. I think I can only thrive in the desert; I spent 3+ years Back East in the eponymous swamplands of Delabama and couldn't put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard most of the time. Part of it may have been my triumphant return to the workforce after a 3.5 year absence/sabbatical as a full-time parent. But even though I was once again in the company of other adult humans, some of them even likable by my odd standards, I could barely think straight, much less write. But anyway, I promised myself I'd get back to this someday. Looks like I did.

Labels:

also ...

I promise to post some more porn. Soon.

Labels:

new short piece (12 May 07)

Finally, at the end of it all, I stood alone by the ocean, atop the mountain, in the heart of the desert, at the edge of something far and bigger. I watched the sun rise, fill the sky and water, shine deep blue and violet and bright hot amber, warming my cheeks, cooling my neck. I drank it in as the sun sank into the ocean, the sea rose up to meet the dissipating fireball, illuminated and melting, still distinct yet somehow not-two. They washed up on me, over me, in and through me, untill surrender was only a passing cloud, floating away forgotten. Color, nameless. Shape, undefined, Sweet and salty and dry earth, all of it. I was here and gone, taken and never left, swirling. flickering waves danced with me, spun us into slow orbit, ascending spinning, skating on stars. I witnessed: all of it. I saw, and was seen, I watched worlds that never were and had born and died, loved and lied and never mattered, shimmered without moving, drunk all of them in simultaneously, lived them and passed in the beat of a heart. The sky and waters were never separate, they only dreamed it that way. Dreamed us, and woke, burned and washed flesh away, blood gone, bone gone, eyes brains and lungs - all gone, just here. Finally. Here was no-here, no-there, this-where. He I was beyond I, all, all already, and endless end. Home, full, one. Nothing was true, all of it, a breath. We-it were infinite, timeless, complete and empty, eternal without being. Fully awake, dreaming the world, the sun, the infinite waters, interstellar space and matter. Finally. An aeon, an instant, and - I began to miss it. A thousand faeries lit up the thought, swarmed into the mind sky and shouted in their tiny loud voices: "Let's go again!" And we did. Finally.

Labels:

and...

it occurs to me that I am going through a second adolescence right now, learning the tools I need(ed) to become a functional adult thirty years later. as pathetic as that might sound on the surface, it's an entirely necessary step in my life. Look at it as another example of Beginner's Mind, or learning the courage to start again, again.

Labels:

immodest proposal: voting age
2007.05.31

Change the voting age to 21 - in reverse. Kids vote as soon as they can crawl; after your 21st birthday, you can't vote any more. Might not make things any better, but it'll certainly be more interesting.

Labels: