i'm considering becoming a marijuana user, and i'm not happy about the prospect.

having read a piece in The Onion that Snoop Dogg is giving up his bong and going straight, i feel it's my duty to create balance. problem is, i don't really like smoking wEEd. it just makes me stupid(er) and dries me out, two things of which we have plenty here in 'burque.

yet as i face my 39th (no shit) birthday next month the care of toddler and infant is fast sapping my delicate ganglia as well as aggravating my arthritis. medical ganja may not be indicated for achy joints (pun half-intended), but the variety i'm facing carries chronic (yeah, again) low-grade pain and weakness in the connective tissues, and there's a limit to how much ibuprofen i can eat before i nupe my liver. i started t'ai ch'i and qigong partly for that reason (as well as getting me outta the house for a coupla hours each week). but it's the stupid(er) part that interests me most.

aside from the 1am, 3am, 5am wake-up calls from popeye's crib (he gives new meaning to "light sleeper"), my weekday consists of long stretches absent of meaningful conversation, thought, or adult language. that, and being barfed upon. it should be an opportunity for mindfulness and meditation, but in practice it's sending me into a bad place, ranging from lethargia to rage and points betwixt. i find myself unable to read more than a paragraph at a time as one son or the other or the other demands my undivided attention - and even then it's all bad news. furthermore, i find myself too-frequently humming tunes from Blues Clues or Dora the Explorer (albeit with altered and highly inappropriate lyrics) or staring into the vastness of one or another electronic medium. if i were simply losing my mind it'd be easier, but most of my faculties are still there, they just can't do a damned thing when they want or need to.

so, yes, the dumbing down has its appeal.

help me, spock....



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